Vipassana : My Experience

I was nervous when I drove in to the parking lot of Dhamma Dhara, Shelburne falls.

I got my luggage out into the reception area. After registering , I had to relinquish my phone for 10 days and get a room allocated for the stay.

It felt like someone had kept a piece of me with them. That had been my only way to talking to my family since the past 10 days.

Since the time I heard a colleague of mine going for Vipassana for 10 days, I felt this strong urge to go attend one myself. It also brought back memories when my Father-in-Law had done it many years ago, but at that time I was only curious, not intending to ever want to do it myself. 

Even now, the duration seemed a  bit too long, would have preferred 4-5 day retreat but could not find any that suited the rest of my need.

Its very hard to get out alone for 10 days leaving family behind to fend for themselves. It just so happened that my family went to India for 3 weeks and they were having a good time when I decided to spend part of my alone time in Vipassana, feel very lucky to have been able to do that.

                                                                                  ***

After signing in, I went to my room to set it up with my bedding. The cute little minimalist room lit with sunshine coming in from the window facing the gardens, instantly put me at ease. The luxury of having your own private room and a bathroom is not common in Vipassana retreats across the world.

The room, corridors, the meditation hall everything looked spic and span. It was hard to guess it was being maintained by volunteers. And they had these thoughtful touches that warmed up my heart. There were even bug spray and umbrellas and torches at every exit to make it comfortable for residents !

At the orientation, all meditators were asked to sign a form committing that we will stay for all 10 days and not give up midway. Noble Silence for 10 days was about to begin - no interaction with fellow camp mates in words or gesticulations, no books, no phone, no TV or any other form of input.- It sounded a bit like a prison ! Was there a  more explicit way of indicating what a difficult thing I was getting into ?

The Vipassana meditation course was taught by way of audio/video recordings of the teacher S. N. Goenka. (he passed away a couple years ago). There were assistant teachers for the course who one could talk to for questions regarding the practice. The first night itself  Goenka ji (virtually) explained the concept behind this technique and then slowly built on it the rest of the days. Very straight forward, logical and effective method as taught by the greatest enlightened master, Gautama, the Buddha.

Vipassana is a 2.5 centuries old meditation technique discovered by Buddha and had been fortunately preserved in Sayagyi U Ba Khin tradition in Burma where our teacher Goenka Ji, learnt it. It means “seeing things as they are”- the Art of living

 The concept is simple. One gets sensory/mind inputs, one perceives that, generates thought, it creates sensations- pleasant/unpleasant, that creates reactions(typically aversion or craving) and this reaction multiplies the misery and the cycle goes on this life and even after.

If we were to watch our sensations with full awareness and complete equanimity and not react, we start to get rid of the misery. Nothing is permanent. Whether pleasant or unpleasant, the sensations rise and pass away. Just observe without any clinging.

The basis is common to teachings of many spiritual masters. Choice-less awareness, watching your thought with full attention and not react, will get you the same result, but intellectually understanding and experiencing are two different things.

It is indeed hard to watch one's  thought.Its easier to watch sensations that are linked to these thoughts. So though the core wisdom may not seem as a revelation, effectively putting it in operation for a common person was (according to me) the biggest gift of this program. It works. And it works for everyone !

The technique is built on real experiential truth, not visualization, verbalization, imagination or any other technique that claim to silence the mind.

In Buddha's time this 'boot camp' was offered over a period of one and a half months.Over the time - primarily in an attempt to accommodate the needs of the modern lifestyle, this was shortened to 10 days. It was found out that anything less than  10 days would not be enough to practice and be able to experience the results.

The practice is completely non-sectarian and Goenka ji asks you to spend the 10 days with no self-doubt or skepticism/questioning of the technique and without mixing it with any other techniques we know or practice, to give it a fair trial.
                                                               
                                                                              ***

Typical day:

The days were long, waking up to the pleasing sound of the gentle gong (this was used for all time reminders)  at 4.30 am, campers were supposed to begin meditation.

We went to the meditation hall at 6 am where we would hear the the audio of Goeka ji chanting some Pali/Hindi hymns.

The 1^st couple days I would be eager waiting for breakfast at 6.30, considering we had only tea and fruits after lunch, and didn’t get dinner, but slowly got used to it. Group sitting started at 8am in large meditation hall.

Until about 11 am we practiced in our rooms. Later in the  program, we were allocated Pagoda cells, closed  spaces for very focused meditation. Lunch time started at 11.

During breaks we were allowed to go for walks in the gardens out side and the trails in the woods. We had another group meditation between 2:30 to 3:30.

Then till 5 we were on our own working patiently, consistently and ardently on the technique. We had  tea break at 5PM after which I used to go for walk, had the last group sitting 6-7pm.

After this we had the much awaited discourse. Goenka ji had a very soothing, compassionate, peaceful voice and very down to earth style, simply put details with examples that were at times really funny.Also, that was the only conversation we heard during the 10 days- it was natural we all loved it. The discourses ran in multi language; students could get head-phones with Mp3/ipod players.
At 9.30 we would call it a day.

The toughest part of the program that one probably may need to prepare for if they decide to go for Vipassana retreat would be  Adipattna (strong determination) practice.

Adipattna involves sitting still during group meditation. The practitioners are not supposed to move for the entire hour and sit with strong determination unless they were literally dying. I found this particular part very hard although it does get easier as we move along in the course. I feel some practice of sitting without moving before one goes for the retreat would  make the sittings, 3 times a day, a bit easier

After the first couple days, I was used to the routine and started noticing the change the silence had started to bring about.

Without any distractions and being alone, one actually observes closely the crazy monkey mind and a lot of stuff comes up and manifests in form or over powering emotions or even pain.

After the Vipassana meditation started - which was awareness of sensations with complete equanimity - I felt I was just getting more mindful during walks, I noticed and enjoyed every little detail of the dance we call life. I enjoyed the simple food cooked with love by the volunteers. It seemed that my senses were open and receptive to a whole new level. 

As days progressed, I was able to see the change in my feelings and sensations and experience silence, calm, peace and even joy. I was less wandering and more aware, I was grateful to have a few amazing and  unprecedented spiritual experiences in the beautiful woods.

The Vipassana  program has always been famed to catalyze major purification and openings - something that was now experiential for me !

                                                                              ***

On the final day,  the 10^th day,  we were taught a new technique “Metta”.

This technique involves transmitting love, compassion and good-will to the fellow human beings.  We were allowed to talk again ! After 9 whole days of noble silence. We started conversing with the fellow practitioners, who it seemed we knew well but just hadn't spoken to.

Within a couple of hours of  speaking, I actually felt like my body temperature had gone up a few  degrees and I felt the need for some silence again to cool down ! This was supposed to be the shock absorbent day before we head back out to the world the next day.

Before leaving the camp, one can give donation (dana) if you felt you benefited from the program and would like to sponsor a new student to benefit from it. There is not a fee that you pay to buy the service. You are encouraged to provide volunteer services when you can and keep the wheel of Dhamma running. 

Joy in small things :

There were about 100 people in the hall during group sittings. The most hilarious part was the noises that you could hear; less food , too much meditation can throw the body's gas system out of whack- and I personally have never heard the great variety of noises from my own tummy.

In my room, lying down on my tummy on the bed during breaks and looking out the window at the chipmunks that would pay frequent visit to that garden bush was the 2^nd best entertainment after the walk in the woods, which ranked #1.

One day we had a bit of drama in the camp. A huge bee (or wasp) got in the dining room. It looked dangerous. A couple of women trying to trap it to then let it go without being stung or killing it and without glancing at or interacting with one another was pretty cool comic event to watch.

My alarm clock stopped working in the middle of the course one day.  After I missed waking at 4.30 in the morning with no alarm clock backup, I decided to do something about it. I arranged for spare batteries. But that did not solve the  problem. The clock needed re-calibration ! Had stayed away from that while I was home, getting someone else to do it.
I spent an immersive session setting my clock without any instruction manual. I learnt all features of the alarm clock, right to the last one that the Taiwanese manufacturer had packaged in it, I am now the clock expert of the house !

I am used to reading in the night. With no books allowed, I would spend some time reading labels of my creams and shampoos before I went to bed before I got out of that habit.
How hard it is to come out of the old habit pattern of the mind and that’s why 10 days are so important and emphasized when you start to notice the small changes.

Food:

We had breakfast at 6.30 and lunch at 11. Tea with fruits at 5 and nothing after that.All food options were vegetarian, healthy, fruits, salads, herbal teas. Tofu, rice , some days there was daal and some days pasta. A couple days we even got cookies for dessert. For folks with special diet needs, they had some more options.

I was absolutely fine all day but hunger crept up at about 9pm before bed time. I started making a honey and lemon drink and sipped it before bed time.

I was hoping to lose substantial weight but just lost a few pounds; I guess the body goes into hibernation with minimal eating and minimal activity.

Walks:

Like I mentioned before, as the days went by, the love for the woods, and being out in the nature kept increasing.

I always looked forward to the walks in the well interspersed breaks. The woods were in the rolling hills set at the back of the Dhamma dhara site. The tree line merged with the lovely Berkshire mountains.

The trails were done with taste, kept natural, sometimes one could see the natural steps created by trees root system. Some places a wooden bridge was placed. There was a bench and a rock where you could sit and rest. The mushrooms, the flowers and the pine and maple tree in their full majesty were a delight to note. The weather was sunny mostly and not too hot and with the tempered down attitude, didn’t even feel the need of fan.

The red sun peeping through the trees during sun rise and the top of the tree line looking ablaze during sun sets was another time to just be out and soak in it.

Details of Teaching/Technique:

I am keeping the technique details short so if you decide to go, you can experience and learn 1^st hand.

There are 3 major parts:

Sila (the foundation with 5 precepts)

·         No stealing

·         No cheating/lying

·         No killing

·         No sexual misconduct

·         No Intoxicants

To ensure a strong foundation of Sila, the 10 day silent residential retreat away from home was essential

Samadhi

·         Right Concentration or meditation

To ensure this pre-requisite was met, we were focusing on Aana-Paana (watching the breath) for the 1^st 3 days

Panya

·         Correct wisdom

o   From reading/listening/self-learning

o   Understanding /discussing (discourses)

o   Experiential truth (awareness of sensations- Vipassana, taught 4th day on-wards)

                                                                   ***

Now that I am back home, I need to keep up the daily practice so I don’t lose on the process that started at the camp but as obvious, the progress is slow with the distractions in our world.
 Towards the end of the course we learnt to practice the technique in daily life, while walking, eating etc.
This has definitely added to the centering and inner silence as I try to practice it after returning back

Based on my experience, I feel the technique will benefit one and all. Also, for some fence sitters who have wanted to start a meditation practice but have never had a chance to get it into daily life consistently, this will get you going.

The challenge is to find 10 days from your life and commit, whoever decides to do it, I feel it will be well worth it.

May peace be with you all :-)

Travelogue - A Tribute To Our American Cross Country Road trip

I still vividly remember, basking on the beach in Redondo Beach on a lazy Sunday afternoon, the kids playing in the sand, going in and out of the beautiful blue waters of the cold Pacific. I was pretending to help my daughter build a sand castle when she’d stop by, taking a break from her busy carefree frolicking in her bright azure butterfly print swimming costume.  My son with his over grown hair (a fetish nowadays to keep the Justin Beiber style, though the boys dislike the singer), was busy burying himself most of the time with the warm soft sand distracted randomly by a crab that would pop its head out.

Prithvi(my husband) and I were discussing our end of the stint in Los Angeles that we had got, thanks to a job opportunity he had taken. A beautiful, paid for, Beach facing Apt for 8 months and my job that allows me to work from anywhere as long as I can keep myself getting on a computer with Wi-Fi between 9am- 6pm EST. And no, it didn’t need us to be billionaires to carry out this stint! I so much enjoyed this long vacation which was so long that we had to work and kids had to go to school!

Our apartment was 2 minutes away from one of the happening places in LA suburbs, the Redondo Beach and the pier. The numerous dazzling sunsets I got to witness from either the apartment balcony or the beach itself is a keeper forever. The yummiest food joints serving anything from Brazilian to Sushi, all with amazing ocean views and the appetizing aroma of fried fish that would make anyone hungry, the line of bars, a few serving 84 varieties of Beer on Tap, playing live bands on weekends and carrying exquisite stuff like Hookah for the daring ones to try.

The 2 miles morning walks towards Palos Verdes or jogs along the beach  were the most refreshing I have ever experienced in my life. The color of the ocean, the beaches that are cleaned every morning by the city authorities and the young and old walking or running on a drive to stay fit, along with a sea gull formation or a rare streamer that looked oh so glamorous. The evening walks were the most romantic with a perfect breeze, a pink and purple hue in the sky after the sun set and the kids in the apartment safely watching a 1 hour TV show.

I could just keep going on and on but have to restraint myself because I really wanted to write about something else today. So at the end of this stay, we were discussing our plans to move back to our beautiful home in Chelmsford, in the East coast, that is submerged in Snow for 5 months of the year. We were debating taking a flight back or should we, yes, should we venture driving cross country with a 12 year old Sid and 7 year old Tanu!!

The thought itself seemed scary and the dilemma appeared immense. Some 5000 odd miles in 8x8 space for 10 days with these two little monsters. But paradoxically, it seemed exciting and adventurous at the same time!! My Hubby was trying his best to wiggle out, not so fond of driving inherently and not trusting his life with me behind the wheels. On the contrary, although apprehensive, was not letting this opportunity that was loudly banging at our door, slip away that easily.

Everything was falling in place, the whole universe was aligned to make it happen and at some point, these signs got better of us and we decided to give it a shot. Friends who we shared this idea with, thought very brave of us, encouraged us and some even offered sympathy.

Day 1:

After the next few days of winding down the home that we had so lovingly set up for our 9 months stay, packing and shipping multiple boxes, arranging and optimally utilizing every nook and corner in the SUV’s back and sipping our last cup of tea while loading everyone in the car, we were all set to take this seemingly eternal journey to our home in Boston. My son, who typically gets car sick propped a bunch of pillows under and behind him to give him comfort of a Prince. My daughter in her car seat with a pretty purple neck pillow, a new big eyed kitty soft toy for her comfort, and curtains hanging on both windows, a cool stand to hold the iPod- the device we will rely on the entire trip for music and audio books, GPS attached to the windshield very sturdily, all types of chargers ready to charge any type of device and all cell phone’s lined up with our cups of tea, Basanti (our Honda SUV Ghodi) seemed all decked up for the long run! We started on our journey full of a spirit of adventure and apprehension.

For just the last time, we stopped and touched the waters of the Redondo Beach as we started on the long stretch.The initial journey was just 5 hours to Las Vegas. Driving on the winding road through the Mountain range that one has to cross to get to the east of LA, and then through the desert was as pretty as it had always been with the barren land with occasional shrubs and Joshua trees of the desert, hills on the horizon, and a few rare snow covered high mountains. One last time we witnessed the sunset of LA.

We stopped for a quick Chaloo dinner at a Mexican fast food,  and while the sun was setting during the last hour to LV we heard the first Chapter of “Harry Potter: The deathly Hallows”. We knew already that we were safe in the company of this audio book as long as it lasts. 

As we entered the Las Vegas city, the colorful lights, buzzing activity in the midnight, huge hotel buildings built as replicas of beautiful European cities in the middle of no-where, captured all our attention. In Las Vegas we had a suite booked in Mandalay Bay. It was hot when we got out of the car and headed towards the hotel. The hotels in LV are no less than palaces with huge sprawling Casinos dominating the ground floor. We got the room on 37^th floor and the view of the City of Night was amazing from the window. The kids completely fell in love with the Flat screen TV in the Bathroom with the Jacuzzi and we knew what we were doing first thing when we woke up the next morning. My husband unleashed his love for the DSLR and photography and took great pictures of the city from the bedroom. Finally we went off to sleep with blinds open to get as much of the view as we could before the eyes just could not remain open under the immense tiredness. This was the first time in our 3 trips to LV that we had chosen to enjoy the Night life from within the domain of our room.

Day2:

Woke up to a beautiful view of the strip. After getting ready following Yoga, our usual morning practice, with the city view (a unique setting for sure) we had a big fun brunch in a huge buffet in the hotel. And then we started for our next leg, towards the colorful Bryce Canyon.

 Driving out of the enamoring decked up fashionable and happening city, into the desert between hills of reddish and brown hues and areas of no vegetation to some desert like vegetation we started listening to Harry potter to keep everyone in the car appropriately entertained. After a few hours, I decided to drive to give Prithvi a break, he looked sleepy this morning. Soon I noticed everyone in the car was fast asleep except for me.  We had got into an area driving up Nevada where the highway was lined on both sides by green hills now and we had gotten out of the desert. I started playing Kailash Kher and replayed “Saiyan” a few times. I was starting to enjoy the “me” time driving and listening to my favorite music. Suddenly I realized that we were running low on gas. The indicator light had just turned on. Woke up Prithvi and asked him to look for a nearby gas station on the GPS. And at that minute, reality hit us that we were in the middle of no-where. What that means is literally no habitation, gas station, stores etc for 30 miles either side. We were in a state of panic with screaming kids – not sure how these little ones smell stress in the air and put in all their energy to turn it into a complete tornado that stopped only after the next 40 minutes of the journey. . We took a sigh of relief as we made it into the gas station right outside Bryce Canyon.

On our drive towards Bryce we started seeing signature formations of rock and earth formed so beautifully by years of erosion by rain and wind. Through Red canyon we soon entered Bryce. The view was amazing, beautiful, and exquisite all at once.

 At the look-out point we could see a huge valley with small temple like pink/red earth formations called hoodoos. Prithvi thought they looked like candy. At one point we spotted a snake, thankfully not a rattler, which attracted the kids more than our beautiful surroundings! There were some natural red arches adding to the beauty. The sunset point was even more amazing and we did manage to get there by Sunset. There was hike down through the hoodoos and the natural canyon walls. It was like going down a fort. By the time we got out of Bryce, we were tired and it was late so we had dinner at Ruby’s Inn (a historic inn that had been opened when Bryce had not even been categorized as a National Park in America) and crashed at our hotel, Best Western.

Day 3

Our next stop was West Yellowstone which we were supposed to reach in the night. We drove up Utah and stopped at Salt Lake to touch and feel the beautiful azure lake in the middle of the valley on which the city has been named. We kept driving up through Idaho and then Montana before we got into Wyoming. The drive up Idaho and Montana was immensely and unexpectedly scenic. I was expecting Idaho to be a rugged terrain of a potato country. It actually surprised me with its untouched, wild beauty. The Volcanic, high lava mountains , the canyons, at a distance, the dense cedar woods spaced with green pastures, the sparkling rivers –surely overflowing with the trout or bass or catfish, so welcoming to canoe in or do fishing.  

The states seemed so sprawling green that it was hard to believe that all this would be under multiple feet of glittering white snow in a few months.  Similar sights were seen as we crossed the border and drove through some of Montana. As we neared Yellowstone, we could see mountains full of pine trees and random rivers, a sight fairly common in Yellowstone National Park.

If we had more time off from work, I would’ve loved to find some habitation in these seeming un-inhabited states and spent a day or two there exploring the wilderness. I hope to plan a vacation in Idaho and Montana in future when opportunity offers itself before us.

 In West Yellowstone, we rested at the Greywolfe Inn that was tucked away in the valley but where mosquitoes were ready to eat us alive. Here we had booked a suite with a kitchenette and we had picked up groceries on the way. My official cook on travel, my dear hubby, made a nice fish curry and rice and we enjoyed some Indian food after 3 days. Yumm!

Day4

The Yellowstone National park was more incredible than our imagination would allow. The sheer expanse with low and high hills full of evergreen (mostly pines). The rivers scattered serving as true waterholes for the wild population of Yellowstone. We spotted a whole family of bisons relaxing and posing for us.

Yellowstone is home to thousands of active thermal features, including the world renowned geysers, basins, mud pots, paint pots and the most extraordinary Limestone Travestites/upper lower terrace. The volcanic history, but absence of volcanic eruptions, makes this place as exotic and popular as it can be.

As we drove around, stopping at each of these must-see stops, the funky smell of sulphur made the journey more adventurous.

Lower Basin

Middle Basin

Upper Terrace

We drove in to see the Old faithful Geyser in action. This is one of the most predictable geographical features on Earth, erupting almost every 90 minutes. Witnessing the sight after patiently waiting for about half hour, we were awed.

Old Faithful

The freezing pristine Yellowstone Lake, Upper/lower falls, this Park no wonder was the first park to be named America’s National Preserves in 1800’s.

Yellowstone Lake

Then we drove towards the Grand Tetons, the National Park that is connected to the Yellowstone.

Grand Tetons, the ethereal mountain landscape where jagged peaks tower more than a mile above the Jackson Hole valley. The snow peaks and the sun flower fields at its base on a sunny day gave us a perfect opportunity to take fantastic pictures. Kids swam and relaxed in the Jackson lake set in the backdrop of the dreamlike range while we cooked up a picnic dinner. While driving back we spotted a mama bear with a baby bear. That night we rested in a cottage within Yellowstone.

Grad Tetons Mountain Range

Lake Jackson

 Day5

After a brief walk down to the Grand Canyon of the Yellowstone and enjoying the scenic beauty, we headed out. Oh I forgot, we used our binoculars and spotted a nest with eggs on a huge rock in the middle of the canyon.

The drive out of Yellowstone towards Cody through Big Horn National Park was captivating. At some point we crossed over the Great Continental divide. Going past rolling hills with cows grazing, signs to indicate the millions years old rocks terrain that we were passing through made the drive exotic and like icing on the top of a cake, we witnessed 2 rainbows at the same time after a minor drizzle.

Big Horn National Park

We stopped for dinner at a small diner in at Sundance. There were pictures of the historic Sundance kid, the outlaw, whose movie, “Butch Cassidy and Sundance Kid” was a favorite pick in the Dumb charades game we grew up playing. Drove to Mount Rushmore Keystone, South Dakota to crash for the night.

Day6

The next morning we headed to Mount Rushmore Memorial Park to marvel at the majestic beauty of the Black Hills of South Dakota and to learn about the birth, growth, development and the preservation of our country. The kids went around pointing at flags of different countries as we walked towards the mountain. We stayed there for very long marveling and reading the history of how the mountains were carved.

We roamed around the quaint sleepy town of Keystone and shopped for Red Indian Artifacts, stopped at a few gold mines of the old times.  

We paid a visit to the historic Crazy Horse Memorial. The mountain is being carved for the past 20 years to sculpt the head of the famous Red Indian chief. The structure looks huge that has a huge effort going behind it. We visited the museums and noticed a variety of interesting Native American items.

After dinner we went for the night viewing of Mt Rushmore. It looked majestic and bright as an iconic symbol of presidential greatness.

  

Day 7

By now we had covered most of the interesting drive. Driving through Dakotas through the rugged beauty of the Badlands National park and some Canyons, we stopped at Al’s Oasis, a large shopping Mall, nestled along the Missouri River SD. We drove through Prairies, the grasslands where the landscape hardly changes. We were coming close to the final chapters of Harry Potter, the audio book that had been such a desirable company on long stretches on nothingness, keeping the volume levels of kids in control while everyone listened to it intently.

We made a stop at famous Wall Drug Store for refreshments. Could not figure out why it’s such a famous stop. Came across multiple gangs of motor cycle riders, the strong, rugged, hulk types. Would love to have a motorcycle in US someday, although not a huge one, as a reminder of our dating days back in college.

Wall Drug Store

Next, driving thru Minnesota, crossing the Mississippi River was another scenic stretch that is etched in our minds still.

We planned to visit Large ball of twine in Darwin, Minnesota because Sid was always playing this funny song of Whacky Al “Biggest ball of Twine in Minnesota” but our butts were starting to pain because of the many hours of sitting now so skipped the extra-long detour. 

Soon we reached our second home in Chicago where we halted, rested and enjoyed for 2 days at my brother in Laws place. After that we just drove straight to Boston without even stopping at Niagara as we had visited that location millions of times with many visitors coming to the east coast.

 The drive home was pretty uneventful, thank Goodness.

The one amazing continent, stretching between the 2 coasts, spread over 3 time-zones, when we crossed it on our 4 wheels car, we took a detour to touch the waters at the beach of Salisbury to make it a point.

When we came back to our sweet home, the neighbors were ready to give us a very warm welcome that we shall always remember.

  

Before sunset, we rushed to the lake I call mine behind out neighborhood and went kayaking, felt like home coming.

Crystal Lake

This trip is one that is etched in our hearts and minds and will be cherished forever. So happy life gave us such an incredible opportunity and we took it! On the downside, now my refrigerator façade is full of magnets of places we have visited, leaving little space for all those destinations we still need to go to!!