Vipassana : My Experience

I was nervous when I drove in to the parking lot of Dhamma Dhara, Shelburne falls.

I got my luggage out into the reception area. After registering , I had to relinquish my phone for 10 days and get a room allocated for the stay.

It felt like someone had kept a piece of me with them. That had been my only way to talking to my family since the past 10 days.

Since the time I heard a colleague of mine going for Vipassana for 10 days, I felt this strong urge to go attend one myself. It also brought back memories when my Father-in-Law had done it many years ago, but at that time I was only curious, not intending to ever want to do it myself. 

Even now, the duration seemed a  bit too long, would have preferred 4-5 day retreat but could not find any that suited the rest of my need.

Its very hard to get out alone for 10 days leaving family behind to fend for themselves. It just so happened that my family went to India for 3 weeks and they were having a good time when I decided to spend part of my alone time in Vipassana, feel very lucky to have been able to do that.

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After signing in, I went to my room to set it up with my bedding. The cute little minimalist room lit with sunshine coming in from the window facing the gardens, instantly put me at ease. The luxury of having your own private room and a bathroom is not common in Vipassana retreats across the world.

The room, corridors, the meditation hall everything looked spic and span. It was hard to guess it was being maintained by volunteers. And they had these thoughtful touches that warmed up my heart. There were even bug spray and umbrellas and torches at every exit to make it comfortable for residents !

At the orientation, all meditators were asked to sign a form committing that we will stay for all 10 days and not give up midway. Noble Silence for 10 days was about to begin - no interaction with fellow camp mates in words or gesticulations, no books, no phone, no TV or any other form of input.- It sounded a bit like a prison ! Was there a  more explicit way of indicating what a difficult thing I was getting into ?

The Vipassana meditation course was taught by way of audio/video recordings of the teacher S. N. Goenka. (he passed away a couple years ago). There were assistant teachers for the course who one could talk to for questions regarding the practice. The first night itself  Goenka ji (virtually) explained the concept behind this technique and then slowly built on it the rest of the days. Very straight forward, logical and effective method as taught by the greatest enlightened master, Gautama, the Buddha.

Vipassana is a 2.5 centuries old meditation technique discovered by Buddha and had been fortunately preserved in Sayagyi U Ba Khin tradition in Burma where our teacher Goenka Ji, learnt it. It means “seeing things as they are”- the Art of living

 The concept is simple. One gets sensory/mind inputs, one perceives that, generates thought, it creates sensations- pleasant/unpleasant, that creates reactions(typically aversion or craving) and this reaction multiplies the misery and the cycle goes on this life and even after.

If we were to watch our sensations with full awareness and complete equanimity and not react, we start to get rid of the misery. Nothing is permanent. Whether pleasant or unpleasant, the sensations rise and pass away. Just observe without any clinging.

The basis is common to teachings of many spiritual masters. Choice-less awareness, watching your thought with full attention and not react, will get you the same result, but intellectually understanding and experiencing are two different things.

It is indeed hard to watch one's  thought.Its easier to watch sensations that are linked to these thoughts. So though the core wisdom may not seem as a revelation, effectively putting it in operation for a common person was (according to me) the biggest gift of this program. It works. And it works for everyone !

The technique is built on real experiential truth, not visualization, verbalization, imagination or any other technique that claim to silence the mind.

In Buddha's time this 'boot camp' was offered over a period of one and a half months.Over the time - primarily in an attempt to accommodate the needs of the modern lifestyle, this was shortened to 10 days. It was found out that anything less than  10 days would not be enough to practice and be able to experience the results.

The practice is completely non-sectarian and Goenka ji asks you to spend the 10 days with no self-doubt or skepticism/questioning of the technique and without mixing it with any other techniques we know or practice, to give it a fair trial.
                                                               
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Typical day:

The days were long, waking up to the pleasing sound of the gentle gong (this was used for all time reminders)  at 4.30 am, campers were supposed to begin meditation.

We went to the meditation hall at 6 am where we would hear the the audio of Goeka ji chanting some Pali/Hindi hymns.

The 1^st couple days I would be eager waiting for breakfast at 6.30, considering we had only tea and fruits after lunch, and didn’t get dinner, but slowly got used to it. Group sitting started at 8am in large meditation hall.

Until about 11 am we practiced in our rooms. Later in the  program, we were allocated Pagoda cells, closed  spaces for very focused meditation. Lunch time started at 11.

During breaks we were allowed to go for walks in the gardens out side and the trails in the woods. We had another group meditation between 2:30 to 3:30.

Then till 5 we were on our own working patiently, consistently and ardently on the technique. We had  tea break at 5PM after which I used to go for walk, had the last group sitting 6-7pm.

After this we had the much awaited discourse. Goenka ji had a very soothing, compassionate, peaceful voice and very down to earth style, simply put details with examples that were at times really funny.Also, that was the only conversation we heard during the 10 days- it was natural we all loved it. The discourses ran in multi language; students could get head-phones with Mp3/ipod players.
At 9.30 we would call it a day.

The toughest part of the program that one probably may need to prepare for if they decide to go for Vipassana retreat would be  Adipattna (strong determination) practice.

Adipattna involves sitting still during group meditation. The practitioners are not supposed to move for the entire hour and sit with strong determination unless they were literally dying. I found this particular part very hard although it does get easier as we move along in the course. I feel some practice of sitting without moving before one goes for the retreat would  make the sittings, 3 times a day, a bit easier

After the first couple days, I was used to the routine and started noticing the change the silence had started to bring about.

Without any distractions and being alone, one actually observes closely the crazy monkey mind and a lot of stuff comes up and manifests in form or over powering emotions or even pain.

After the Vipassana meditation started - which was awareness of sensations with complete equanimity - I felt I was just getting more mindful during walks, I noticed and enjoyed every little detail of the dance we call life. I enjoyed the simple food cooked with love by the volunteers. It seemed that my senses were open and receptive to a whole new level. 

As days progressed, I was able to see the change in my feelings and sensations and experience silence, calm, peace and even joy. I was less wandering and more aware, I was grateful to have a few amazing and  unprecedented spiritual experiences in the beautiful woods.

The Vipassana  program has always been famed to catalyze major purification and openings - something that was now experiential for me !

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On the final day,  the 10^th day,  we were taught a new technique “Metta”.

This technique involves transmitting love, compassion and good-will to the fellow human beings.  We were allowed to talk again ! After 9 whole days of noble silence. We started conversing with the fellow practitioners, who it seemed we knew well but just hadn't spoken to.

Within a couple of hours of  speaking, I actually felt like my body temperature had gone up a few  degrees and I felt the need for some silence again to cool down ! This was supposed to be the shock absorbent day before we head back out to the world the next day.

Before leaving the camp, one can give donation (dana) if you felt you benefited from the program and would like to sponsor a new student to benefit from it. There is not a fee that you pay to buy the service. You are encouraged to provide volunteer services when you can and keep the wheel of Dhamma running. 

Joy in small things :

There were about 100 people in the hall during group sittings. The most hilarious part was the noises that you could hear; less food , too much meditation can throw the body's gas system out of whack- and I personally have never heard the great variety of noises from my own tummy.

In my room, lying down on my tummy on the bed during breaks and looking out the window at the chipmunks that would pay frequent visit to that garden bush was the 2^nd best entertainment after the walk in the woods, which ranked #1.

One day we had a bit of drama in the camp. A huge bee (or wasp) got in the dining room. It looked dangerous. A couple of women trying to trap it to then let it go without being stung or killing it and without glancing at or interacting with one another was pretty cool comic event to watch.

My alarm clock stopped working in the middle of the course one day.  After I missed waking at 4.30 in the morning with no alarm clock backup, I decided to do something about it. I arranged for spare batteries. But that did not solve the  problem. The clock needed re-calibration ! Had stayed away from that while I was home, getting someone else to do it.
I spent an immersive session setting my clock without any instruction manual. I learnt all features of the alarm clock, right to the last one that the Taiwanese manufacturer had packaged in it, I am now the clock expert of the house !

I am used to reading in the night. With no books allowed, I would spend some time reading labels of my creams and shampoos before I went to bed before I got out of that habit.
How hard it is to come out of the old habit pattern of the mind and that’s why 10 days are so important and emphasized when you start to notice the small changes.

Food:

We had breakfast at 6.30 and lunch at 11. Tea with fruits at 5 and nothing after that.All food options were vegetarian, healthy, fruits, salads, herbal teas. Tofu, rice , some days there was daal and some days pasta. A couple days we even got cookies for dessert. For folks with special diet needs, they had some more options.

I was absolutely fine all day but hunger crept up at about 9pm before bed time. I started making a honey and lemon drink and sipped it before bed time.

I was hoping to lose substantial weight but just lost a few pounds; I guess the body goes into hibernation with minimal eating and minimal activity.

Walks:

Like I mentioned before, as the days went by, the love for the woods, and being out in the nature kept increasing.

I always looked forward to the walks in the well interspersed breaks. The woods were in the rolling hills set at the back of the Dhamma dhara site. The tree line merged with the lovely Berkshire mountains.

The trails were done with taste, kept natural, sometimes one could see the natural steps created by trees root system. Some places a wooden bridge was placed. There was a bench and a rock where you could sit and rest. The mushrooms, the flowers and the pine and maple tree in their full majesty were a delight to note. The weather was sunny mostly and not too hot and with the tempered down attitude, didn’t even feel the need of fan.

The red sun peeping through the trees during sun rise and the top of the tree line looking ablaze during sun sets was another time to just be out and soak in it.

Details of Teaching/Technique:

I am keeping the technique details short so if you decide to go, you can experience and learn 1^st hand.

There are 3 major parts:

Sila (the foundation with 5 precepts)

·         No stealing

·         No cheating/lying

·         No killing

·         No sexual misconduct

·         No Intoxicants

To ensure a strong foundation of Sila, the 10 day silent residential retreat away from home was essential

Samadhi

·         Right Concentration or meditation

To ensure this pre-requisite was met, we were focusing on Aana-Paana (watching the breath) for the 1^st 3 days

Panya

·         Correct wisdom

o   From reading/listening/self-learning

o   Understanding /discussing (discourses)

o   Experiential truth (awareness of sensations- Vipassana, taught 4th day on-wards)

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Now that I am back home, I need to keep up the daily practice so I don’t lose on the process that started at the camp but as obvious, the progress is slow with the distractions in our world.
 Towards the end of the course we learnt to practice the technique in daily life, while walking, eating etc.
This has definitely added to the centering and inner silence as I try to practice it after returning back

Based on my experience, I feel the technique will benefit one and all. Also, for some fence sitters who have wanted to start a meditation practice but have never had a chance to get it into daily life consistently, this will get you going.

The challenge is to find 10 days from your life and commit, whoever decides to do it, I feel it will be well worth it.

May peace be with you all :-)